


Gone

by Bladesilverred



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blue is sad, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Suicidal Thoughts, Yellow is busy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 03:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladesilverred/pseuds/Bladesilverred
Summary: After Pink Diamond's death, Blue Diamond struggles to cope. Without Yellow Diamond's support, she turns to drastic measures.





	1. Chapter 1

The moment news of Pink’s shattering reached Homeworld could be heard across galaxies. After a piercing scream followed a blue light that enveloped the entire broken planet. All gems who did not immediately collapse from grief would bow to the ground under the wave of Blue Diamond’s overpowering blue aura. 

Three cycles passed before the blue light dissipated.

In its wake came silence. A deadly silence.

All gems were ordered to continue their duties as usual, but none dared to raise their voices. The hushed silence was only broken for with the cries of a mourning diamond.

Blue had retreated to her chambers after hearing the news of Pink’s demise. There she stayed for three cycles, collapsed at the door of her private quarters, not having enough strength to move. Her gem pulsated, pushing out blue light.

But even a diamond’s powers weren’t strong enough to hold it forever.

Having tired herself out, she called to her Pearl. “Put Yellow Diamond on the communicator.”

Her voice was hoarse from days of crying.

“Yes, my Diamond,” responds the small gem.

As she waits for Yellow to answer, she attempts to bring herself to her control chair. She drags her exhausted body across the smooth floors of her chambers. She only manages to crawl halfway before collapsing again. Pulling her knees to her chest, she motions for her Pearl to bring the communicator to her.

Yellow light floods from the communicator’s screen, casting green shadows around the room as it mixes with blue hues of the wall and floor. A yellow figure appears, her head turned the other direction to several screens glowing in the background.

“Blue,” states Yellow, “I see you’ve stopped your aura and allowed our gems to resume their duties.”

Blue flinches at the sharp tone. “Yellow, I need you,” she whispers.

Yellow sighs. “Blue. She’s gone. There’s nothing we can do to bring her back. All we can do is look forward. Pink wouldn’t want this, she would want us to move forward. That’s what is expected of us. It’s our duty to our gems.”

Tears start flowing from Blue’s eyes. “I need you. I can’t do this alone.”

Yellow turns from her screens to look at Blue directly. “I’m very busy, Blue. You should be, too. You are a diamond and your gems need you. You don’t want to upset White. Who knows how she’s handling the news. We can’t afford to be negligent now.”

Her words cut through Blue’s heart like a sword. She couldn’t fathom how Yellow could be so put together, just mere cycles after Pink’s death.

_I should have known not to come to Yellow for comfort._

“Thank you, Yellow.” Blue chokes out and closes the communicator.

The room, now devoid of the yellow light glows a soft blue.

“Pearl?” Blue asks.

“Yes, my Diamond?” replies the smaller gem, walking to stand in front of Blue’s face on the ground.

“How do I make it stop hurting?” At the last word, Blue’s giant shoulder begins to tremble as sobs form in her throat.

Her Pearl quivers, not knowing how to answer. “Would you like me to search the database for a solution?” she finally answers.

Her response causes the sobs in the diamond’s throat to erupt.

As soon as she’s able to speak, Blue dismisses her pearl.

_I’d rather be alone with my misery after all._

She doesn’t know how long she lies there, crumpled on the floor. One cycle or twenty. All she knows is the pain doesn’t ease with time. Even though the tears have stopped and her eyes grow red, the ache behind her gem doesn’t leave.

Finally, Blue raises her head off the floor and pushes herself to her feet. She stumbles to her control panel and takes a seat. After pulling up several reports, she stares aimlessly past the screens as if she had forgotten why she had brought them up in the first place.

The screens chime occasionally, casting a brighter light. Messages from various members of her court come in.

Blue sighs.

_This is pointless. None of this matters, now that Pink is gone._

She dismisses the screens after typing a quick message delegating the most important work to her most trusted gems.

Taking the communicator in her slender fingers, she dials the Yellow Diamond line.

Nothing.

_Typical._

Alone with her grief, Blue sinks down in her chair, pulling her flowing cloak over her head.

_What am I going to do? Yellow doesn’t care, and White is off somewhere, doing who knows what._

She looks down at her hands, half covered by her dark sleeves.

_I just want relief from this pain. I want it to stop._

Her gem glows as she brings her hands towards her chest.

_I’m not strong enough._

Light bursts from her gem as she pulls out a long bladed saber. The weapon looks black in the low light, its long, curving blade quivering as her hand shakes.

_I’m sorry._

She makes no sound as she plunges the sword into her chest, just below the large, teardrop shaped gem.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue's gem is discovered.

Blue Diamond’s Pearl is drawn back into the room upon hearing a loud clink. To her horror, she finds Blue Diamond's gem sitting in the middle of her control chair.

Her mind races as she wills herself to think, to find a solution.

_Oh stars, what do I do? Should I contact White or Yellow Diamond? I will certainly be shattered if I attempt to contact them on the direct Diamond Line without orders to do so._

She hops onto the chair and puts her hand on her diamond’s large gem. Its smooth surface is cold to the touch.

_If I attempt to move it, I might drop it and shatter her. It’s larger than my whole body. But I can’t just leave her here for someone to find...or can I? Perhaps no one will notice._

After a moment’s hesitation, Pearl jumps to the control board, quickly moving to the glowing typepad.

_This is completely unprecedented._

Her mouth twists into a hard line as her fingers fly over the keys.

_Maybe there is some information here. It can’t be the first time a diamond has lost form…right?_

Dread begins to set in.

_Blue Diamond has never had to retreat into her gem. It makes sense because the Diamonds are the strongest gems and she can bring myriads of gems to their knees with just her aura._

She glances back to her diamond’s gem.

_Well at least I know she can’t be shattered by accident. Only another diamond can do such a deed._

Pearl quickly activates the lights and the room is flooded with warm white light. Grabbing the giant gem from its stop on the chair, she hoists it up.

But just as quickly as she had done so, she put it down.

_Where would I even go?_

She takes a seat, wracking her brain to think of a solution. Words swirl around her head, each sentence bringing more and more panic.

Pearl had been poofed many times in her years serving Blue Diamond. Never by Blue herself, but she had born the brunt of many attacks at her Radiance by gems unhappy with their trial verdicts. She had taken only weeks to reform.

_But she’s a Diamond. And her self attack was bound to be far more damaging than those of a lesser gem. She even used her own weapon. I’ve only seen her take it out once before._

She hangs her head, placing a small hand on the azure gem, as if to comfort her. Tears begin to flow down from her eyes, hidden by her light blue hair, down to her chin.

_I don’t know what to do, I’m just a Pearl!_

As soon as that thought forms, she jumps up. Her tears had stopped and her face was full with determination.

_Pearl! I can contact Yellow Diamond’s Pearl!_

Once again, she jumps to Blue Diamond’s control center. The thin gem reaches out to the communicator, dialing the line to Yellow Diamond’s Pearl.

“State your name for the record,” answered a haughty voice.

“Pearl,” she says, voice lowered to a whisper, “this is urgent. I need to tell you something.”

Upon hearing the hushed tone and seeing the wide eyed gaze of the other Pearl, Yellow Diamond’s Pearl brings the communicator closer to her. 

“What is it?” she says, lowering her voice to match the blue Pearl’s.

After a moment of hesitation the blue gem responds, “Blue Diamond poofed herself. With her sword.”

The other Pearl gasps, a scream forming in her throat. 

“Shhh!” rushes the periwinkle gem. 

It was too late. 

“Pearl, what is it?” came a commanding voice from outside the screen’s view.

The communicator clicks closed. Blue Pearl sighs. 

_I hope I didn’t get us both shattered. But I’m sure Pearl will know what to do. She’s always been quicker to find solutions. And Yellow Diamond trusts her._

She jumps back to Blue Diamond’s gem. 

_I won’t leave you alone. Help is coming._

...

“What is it, Pearl?” 

“Uhhh…” yellow Pearl starts nervously. 

“Just spit it out!” was Yellow Diamond’s curt command. 

“Well, I was just…p-perhaps Blue Diamond requires your assistance?” straightening up into a salute, she adds quickly, “My Diamond.”

Yellow Diamond turns to face the small gem. “Hm. Normally I would reprimand such behavior, however, I believe there is truth to your words.” 

Pearl felt her cheeks glow. It was seldom that she was able to speak so freely to her Diamond. 

With a heaving sigh, Yellow Diamond pulls up various screens.“It seems that all her reports are accounted for,” she remarks. 

A few moments pass. She narrows her eyes. “But none of them have been submitted by Blue herself.”

Yellow Diamond checks her schedule. When she finds no opening, she heaves a sigh. “Pearl, please find me an opening in my schedule.”

“Yes, my Diamond!”

“And make it soon.”

“Of course, my Diamond!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond waits for Blue Diamond.

For cycles, tapping noises were all that could be heard from Yellow Diamond’s chambers. The small Pearl had nodded off, but the Yellow saw no need to reprimand her.

_She deserves the rest. She’s a good Pearl. The best Pearl._

At the last thought, the corners of her mouth curled up. As much as she hated to admit it, she had a soft spot for her Pearl. After eons, the smaller gem had stood faithfully at her side. 

Sighing, Yellow turned back to her screens. Working tirelessly, she completed task after task. Reviewing and submitting reports, commanding ships, contacting various members of her court, she worked until her eyelids grew heavy and her brain numb. 

A small voice drew her out of the fog.

“My Diamond? Your scheduled visit with Blue Diamond is due in a few moments.”

“Yes, thank you, Pearl. You are dismissed. You may do as you please, I will call you when I need your assistance.”

“Yes, my Diamond.”

The smaller gem bows, arms crossed in a salute, and walks towards the giant doors at the back of the room. The doors open with a hiss and Pearl trots out.

Yellow Diamond takes one last look at her control panel before hoisting herself out of her chair and walking towards the door.

_Blue, you better not still be crying. So help me if I have to endure another crying fit._

Her footsteps boom loudly as she walks down her golden halls. It doesn’t take long until the warm tones shift to cool blue ones.

As she grows closer to the large blue doors, she pauses. It’s quiet. There are no sounds of crying. Not even a whimper or a gasped breath.

With a feeling of trepidation, she activates the keypad on the wall and the doors slide open.

The room is almost completely dark. Squinting, she can make out Blue’s control chair.

It’s empty.

Steps quickening, she rushes to the chair.

Tears burn at her eyes when she discovers a large gem laying in the middle of the blue chair.

“Blue…” she chokes out.

“My Diamond,” comes a subdued voice from behind the stone.

“Pearl? What happened? Who did this to her?” Yellow spits out.

“She….” Starts the small gem as she begins to shake, tears flowing past her curtain of hair, “She did this to herself. With her sword.”

“She did what?” roars the Diamond, “Pearl, how could you let her do this? You’ll be shattered for this!”

The quivering Pearl bows her head, accepting her punishment. She does not flinch when Yellow’s hand crackles with electricity.

Yellow raises her hand only to lower it again, static dissipating from her hand. “Of course you couldn’t stop her. Find my Pearl and tell her to clear my schedule until further notice. No one is to bother us. And make sure that White Diamond does not find out about this.”

“Yes, my Diamond,” is the soft reply.

As soon as the doors close behind the other gem, Yellow sinks to her knees. She clutches the azure gem to her chest.

“Why did you do it, Blue? Why didn’t you come to me?” she whispers, tears spilling out of her eyes.

Water streams down her face.

A soft voice comes swimming through Yellow’s memory.

_“Yellow, I need you.”_

_“I need you. I can’t do this alone.”_

Guilt creeps into her stomach as a sob forces its way out of her throat. She sits there, gripping Blue’s gem to her chest as it heaves up and down. Anguish and sorrow flows through her entire being.

Yellow cries and cries until her eyes dry up and there are no more tears left, only a dull ache behind her gem. 

Finally, she pulls herself up, and takes a seat in the blue chair, weaving her hands together underneath her chin. The gem sits in her lap, dull and lifeless in the dark.

And she waits. She waits ten cycles. Then twenty. Then fifty.

Finally, she moves her stiff body and activates the control panel in front of her.

_I might as well get some work done. She might need a while._

A jolt of pain reaches her heart as she sees Blue’s Pearl’s panicked search history.

Decades pass as Yellow works. She drowns her thoughts in the work of two Diamonds. Her fingers race across the glowing screens as she continues to work. The rest of her body stays motionless.

The gem in her lap provides a comforting presence, but she never allows her mind to stray into the whirlwind of guilt that lays just beyond it.

A century passes.

Yellow has long ceased her work. In her frenzy to avoid her thoughts, she worked far in advance, completing all her tasks and Blue’s. Now, the lull in her duties bring back the emotions in a wall that rams into her mind.

She cries openly, chest heaving as she sobs.

_Blue, come back to me. You have to come back to me. You can’t leave me here alone. I need you._

_I will never ignore you again. I was foolish. Selfish. Please, just come back._

Her sobs echo around the empty room.

A few cycles pass.

Finally, the gem sitting in Yellow’s lap begins to glow and levitates to the middle of the room. It emits a blinding light and she is forced to bring her hands up to shield her eyes.

As the light fades, Yellow can make out the shape of Blue Diamond, still suspended in the air.

Anger flashes through Yellow’s mind.

“Blue, what were you…“ the words die on her tongue as Blue’s form collapses on the floor.

Yellow rushes to her laying form, crouching when she reaches her. “Blue, what’s wrong? I’m here. I’m here.”

The body lying in front of her, shrouded in a large cloak, is shaking.

Grabbing the thick cloth, Yellow frantically searches for a face.

Blue flinches at the touch. When she feels warm fingers on her face, she slaps them away in fear. She tries to stand, but her legs buckle under her weight. She stumbles backwards.

Yellow reaches out to grab her but stops.

“Blue? It’s me. I’m here.”

“Go away!” Blue’s voice booms across the room.

“I…” Yellow crosses her hands nervously behind her back.

Blue grits her teeth. “Yellow. Leave.”

Yellow stands and turns to leave.

_This pointless. I’m just wasting my time here._

Then she stops as Blue’s voice fills her mind.

_“Yellow, I need you.”_

_“I need you. I can’t do this alone.”_

Turning on her heel, she takes large strides towards the fallen gem.

“No. I’m not going to leave,” she states evenly, “because you need help.”

Blue’s breath comes out in a hiss. “Yellow.” Her voice, cold as steel, comes out between her clenched jaw.

The golden gem ignores her tone and continues forward. She stops, towering over the hooded figure below her. She sees Blue recoil, as if waiting for an attack. She kneels, reaching a hand out until it touches the edges of the dark cloak.

She pulls it back gently, and stares into the piercing eyes that emerge.

“And I’m here to give it to you,” she finishes gently.

Gloved fingers brush against the azure gem’s cheeks, wiping away the tears glistening on her cheeks. They sit in silence for a few agonizing seconds.

Then Blue releases a sob. Her shoulders start to shake, and water makes rivers down her face. Unable to speak, she stares at the figure in front of her, eyes filled with pain.

Something in Yellow’s chest shifts and she moves to close the space between them. Carefully, she slips her fingers through the silky white hair as she cradles Blue’s head. To her relief, Blue leans into the embrace.

“I’m here,” Yellow whispers, “just don’t ever leave me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This was my first story, and I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
